You do WHAT with your hands?

As I slowly traverse across the Asia pacific region, I find that I'm regressing when it comes to human use of eating utensils. After a year of chopsticks, I've nearly completely forgotten how to properly use a knife and fork.

Now in India, silverware is nonexistent. Sure they give you a spoon but they look at you like your a lesser being if you use it. You eat with your hands here. And by hand, I mean right hand. Because your left hand is for cleaning your asshole.

I'm not very good at either of these endeavors. Let's first start analyzing the eating cuz that's a bit prettier. As you can see in the pic, it's a huge mess. Sometimes you get some roti, which is like a tortilla, which you can use to help pick up the loose food. I have a tendency to turn this into a soft taco bar, which is also frowned upon. Proper eating is in bite sized portions, delivered to your mouth with the fingers. It's like we are all 2 years old again. Of course I always lick my fingers and this is also frowned upon. Everything is frowned upon. At least the food is all delicious.

Regarding issue #2 (no pun intended), I simply choose to avoid this altogether. Basically, they give you 2 options: 1: use toilet paper to wipe an then leave it in a bin next to the toilet, or 2: just use your left hand with a bucket of water. I choose option 3: wipe using toilet paper and then flush it down the toilet (like a civilized person). I haven't seen my roommates using any toilet paper so I'm pretty sir they go with option 2. I simply maintain peace of mind by assuming they do a fantastic job of washing their hands afterwards. Plus I'm happy I don't have a bin of shit-stained paper looking up at me every time I go to the bathroom.

Of course, this toilet paper conundrum is not unique to India, nor is it new to me. I have experienced all forms and processes of ass cleaning from all over the world. Simply wanted to share the most recent observations as I'm sure many of you were curious.