Accupuncture

So one of my favorite girls in the course happens to be an accupuncturist from Naples, Florida. She's helping me out tonight. Pretty wild! I'll let you know how I feel in the morning. Bed now. 

Paining

In most of the world, people have pain in their abdomen. In India, people's abdomens are paining. It's one of my favorite colloquialisms out here.

Anyways, despite the uplifting evening last night, I'm really paining. And it sucks. I of course try to push myself but it just isn't smart. I've talked with the teachers an have decided to take the rest of today and tomorrow off. Saturday is an off day anyways, so I will get 2.5 days of complete rest.

Obviously if this was my usual day to day life, that wouldn't be an issue, but out here, that's effectively missing out on 10% of the asana course, so it's quite bothersome. I'm going to have to re-channel that energy positively so I'm going to really work on my teaching skills, hopefully getting the chance to lead 2 full classes. I also might do extended headstands since that's one of the only asanas I can do that doesn't hurt. Just took a muscle relaxer pill and feeling better. Hopefully this is solved in the next 72 hours.

Ups and Downs

For the first 2 weeks, I personally had a pretty smooth time. I fought a common cold and a cut on my foot but no big deal. 

The same could not be said for everyone else. Many had their emotions pour out in different ways. I saw at least 7 or 8 people breaking down and crying in the middle of random meditation or asana practice. At least 5 people either openly admitted or confided with me that they were ready to go home after the first day because they didn't think they would be able to handle the intensity. Just 2 days ago on the 15th day here one woman broke down and claimed she had no business being here after thinking she gave a poor teaching performance (which was promptly refuted by her students). 

Point is, this shit is emotionally and mentally challenging. Everyone here has some baggage that they've brought with them and sooner or later it comes out. 

I didn't get frustrated until today. 

Even though I just got the scorpion yesterday, I also tweaked a muscle in my left abdomen. I think it's my internal oblique. We are pretty sure it got hurt from me stretching too far when I bring my left leg back during sun salutations. No matter how I got it hurt, it sucks.  As the day went on, the pain got worse and worse. It's fine when I'm sitting/standing/laying still, but as soon as I make a quick movement, it feels like knives being shoved into my side. 

I was hoping to sleep it off as though it was a cramp but no luck.

In today's classes, I was incredibly frustrated because half the poses created a pain sensation that I couldn't bear. This inability to complete simple physical feats really pissed me off. I couldn't relax, and I pushed myself to do everything, just aggravating it. 

Not good. 

Add to this injury the fact that it had web raining nonstop for 48 hours and we recently had what seems like a flying spider infestation outside our front door, and today was my shit day. 

So after about 30 minutes of just being generally upset, I decided to do something about it. I know that physically I can't do much, but I needed to straighten myself out mentally. I talked to swami and a couple teachers during dinner and they made me feel much better.  I also got some tiger balm and I'm optimistic that my current state of healthiness and advanced immune and repair systems will expedite my recovery. 

After dinner, we attended satsang with the entire ashram (first time we had done this) - usually it's just the ttc course alone, but this time it was with like 50 more proper yogic folks who chanted and sang like crazy. It was a pretty awesome experience and through the entire 90 minutes I had forgotten I even had any pain. 

Heading to bed now much happier than I would have been had the last 4 hours not transpired as they did. And oh man tigerbalm how I've missed thee!

My first scorpion

Unlocking a new level. The ultimate test of balance, strength, and flexibility.

Day 14 pic

Regressed a bit yesterday

Recapping week 2

This is the first time in the 13 days that I've been here where I've had a few hours to relax. I'm going to try to recap everything in a long post here.

Let's start with the kriyas. These are yogic "cleansing" methods. We learned and tested some of these today. The first one (pouring salt water in one nostril and having it pour out the other) was easy. #2 was sticking a tube up the nose and out the mouth to clean your nasal passages. And by "clean" I mean disrupt your nerves so they sneeze and puke out a load of mucus all over yourself. As you can see in the video in my previous blog post, I was not quite successful in meeting these objectives. Continuing on the forced vomiting, #3 was to slowly chew and swallow a strip of gauze into your esophagus. We only had 2 feet to play with while you are supposed to work up to 15 feet. You then pull it out, which I'm sure would have been a nice feeling had I been able to swallow a millimeter in the first place. Again Trevor fail. I dint even bother trying #4 because I knew it would be a wasted effort. You were supposed to quickly imbibe a bunch of salt water and then stick your fingers to the back of your throat to puke it all up. As someone who has survived the master cleanse an the gallon of milk challenge without puking, I knew this 4th kriya would not work for me so I just ignored it.

At the end of all 4 kriyas, only a few people were successful in de-phlegming themselves an they felt pretty good afterwards. I'm sure that the feeling is great to remove all your mucus, but I'm not quite sold on the theory. Although I'd highly recommend it to anybody looking to exercise their gag reflex.

Moving on,

We started our own teaching this week. Divided into groups of 4, 1 student is the teacher and leads the other 3 through a class. I was chosen to go first and put on a decent class. As predicted, my class went 10 minutes long because I talk too much, but I will say that I'm a pretty confident and effective teacher despite the mistakes I made. So far half the students have put on a full class and it's impressive to hear the reviews. Of course some are obviously better than others, but even some of the students who you would guess would be poor teachers actually do a pretty solid job.

Yesterday, Diya, a 12 year old girl who is here with her 14 year old brother and their mom, put on my class, and she was pretty damn good. I was trying to remember what I was doing when I was 12 years old. She and her bro are rockstars in this class. They're far more mature than the 18-25 year old crowd. I'm very impressed with that family.

Last night during our bhagavad Gita class, the discussion went haywire an somehow turned into a debate on the merits and religious questions surrounding mother theresa and other aid organizations that being in helpless children and "give them religion". Every woman in the class had something to say and it turned into this exhibition of high horses. I just zoned out an actually read thru the bhagavad Gita book while the drama took place an wasted an hour of my life.

Meditation is hard. Twice a day we are supposed to meditate for 30 minutes but the longest I've been able to keepy mind from wandering has been about 90 seconds. I try to bring it back by using various techniques such as focusing on my breath o repeating mantras or visualizing some symbols, but it doesn't work. I tend to just give in and try to focus my straying thoughts on one particular subject. One day I went through memories of papa, another day I tried to recollect and visualize every girl I've had sex with. I need to get better at this.

I'm pretty good at the chanting at this point, and I also understand most of the symbolism behind all the Hindi gods, as well as their theories. I'm impressed that I've been able to learn all this information so quickly. I like that their teachings (primarily thei concept of 1 supreme consciousness) are able to align with all the other religions of the world, and even in the chanting, we mention Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.) so that been a positive part of the experience. Many of the Indians are impressed with my ability to pronounce the Sanskrit. I credit my brief study of mandarin with this skill. Many of the weird non-English sounds are similar to the weir Chinese sounds so I am able to grasp it all whilst than most westerners.

On Wednesday morning, the distant clouds finally cleared and we had our first glimpse of the snow capped Himalayas. They were massive. It was an amazing sight to behold, and it only lasted for that day before disappearing again on Thursday. This made mr super excited for the upcoming trek which will start on July 16. Viewing a 7800meter peak from a distance is incredible so I can only imagine what it will be like to summit 2 6200meter peaks. I've been studying altitude sickness and actually found that oh pranayama breathing which we practice every day is actually the bed prevention one can have against getting sick. These intense breathing techniques put extra oxygen in your bloodstream and help remove extra impurities, so I'm definitely goin to try to begin every day on the mountains with an abbreviated 20 minute yoga session.

Regarding health and the body, we started out anatomy classes this week as well and so far we've covered the skeletal, muscular, and cardiovascular systems. I had never rally had a proper anatomy class I my life prior to this so I find it quite useful, and it's critical to have a good base understanding of the human body to be a proper instructor if this is a path that I choose to go down in the future.

About that future path, there's still a lot to figure out, but thus far I couldn't be happier with my decision to come on this trip. I still can't get over the fact that we're not even halfway done yet. It feels like it's been a year.

Kriyas!

So this is what we did today

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Rise and shine day 12 pic

You do WHAT with your hands?

As I slowly traverse across the Asia pacific region, I find that I'm regressing when it comes to human use of eating utensils. After a year of chopsticks, I've nearly completely forgotten how to properly use a knife and fork.

Now in India, silverware is nonexistent. Sure they give you a spoon but they look at you like your a lesser being if you use it. You eat with your hands here. And by hand, I mean right hand. Because your left hand is for cleaning your asshole.

I'm not very good at either of these endeavors. Let's first start analyzing the eating cuz that's a bit prettier. As you can see in the pic, it's a huge mess. Sometimes you get some roti, which is like a tortilla, which you can use to help pick up the loose food. I have a tendency to turn this into a soft taco bar, which is also frowned upon. Proper eating is in bite sized portions, delivered to your mouth with the fingers. It's like we are all 2 years old again. Of course I always lick my fingers and this is also frowned upon. Everything is frowned upon. At least the food is all delicious.

Regarding issue #2 (no pun intended), I simply choose to avoid this altogether. Basically, they give you 2 options: 1: use toilet paper to wipe an then leave it in a bin next to the toilet, or 2: just use your left hand with a bucket of water. I choose option 3: wipe using toilet paper and then flush it down the toilet (like a civilized person). I haven't seen my roommates using any toilet paper so I'm pretty sir they go with option 2. I simply maintain peace of mind by assuming they do a fantastic job of washing their hands afterwards. Plus I'm happy I don't have a bin of shit-stained paper looking up at me every time I go to the bathroom.

Of course, this toilet paper conundrum is not unique to India, nor is it new to me. I have experienced all forms and processes of ass cleaning from all over the world. Simply wanted to share the most recent observations as I'm sure many of you were curious.

Day 11 pic

Day 10 breakfast

Yumm

Day 10 pic

Breakfast day 9

Day 9 pic

Definitely noticing changes

Bugs

When I was 15-16 years old, whenever I was bored, I used to go out into my backyard in corona with a fly swatter and just go on a massacre. I would easily kill 30-40 flies in 15 minutes until there were no more, and then an hour later go and repeat it. Of course the flies would always come back despite all their dead brethren lying on the ground beneath them.

I really hate insects. I am a huge bug killer. While I fully realize that it's impossible to eradicate all bugs, every bug that I see is a potential mosquito that could bite me or a cockroach that could crawl on my face, and if they are dead, then on some level, I am lessening my chance of being violated and therefore making myself better off.

Which brings me to this ashram. We are in the middle of the Himalayan forest. There's a fair amount of bugs here. I want to kill every one, especially the flies that land all over my face and ears while I'm trying to do a tough pose or relax or meditate. There are also these physically challenged giant cockroach-thingies that apparently can't figure out how to get on their feet because they are always stuck on their backs waving their legs in agony making a futile attempt to right themselves. And I've certainly sent a fair amount of insects to their grave, but as time goes on, I am becoming far more acceptant and sparing the lives of these things. I am short of weapons and throwing books or slamming my hand against my face just isn't a high value proposition when there is an endless supply of bugs coming my way.

Today in class we discussed the idea of supreme consciousness and how all bugs and plants and inanimate objects all posses some level of consciousness. I certainly didn't feel bad about all the bugs that I've murdered over the ears, but I kinda felt good about the ones I've spared.

(I was just interrupted while typing this post to kill an annoying fly in my room that was hovering around the ceiling and wouldn't leave)

Despite this latest extermination,
I've miraculously become relaxed with the flies that land on me during asana class. I have somehow managed to make my mind think that the flies are giving me a massage. I know this is complete bullshit, but I'm out of options and sometimes if you know you are fighting a losing battle, you just need to get creative.

Tomorrow comes video of me transitioning from crow to a new headstand form. Trust me it's sexy.

Monday dinner

This is a bit subpar for the course but still delicious (and yes it is auce)

Hell week has commenced

Well I guess it may be the first of 3 consecutive hell weeks, but yea, we are definitely getting challenged now.

Yesterdays discussion in lecture was one of the most intellectually stimulating experiences I've ever had, essentially using mathematical induction to define who "me" really is. I'll spare you all the details, but needless to say it was quite mind-opening to look at things in that light and use negation to come to a "proof". I'll be exploring this angle more.

Anatomy lessons star soon too so that should be challenging.

In asana class, we got torn apart in a series of advanced shoulderstand poses, while spreading legs apart and it honestly felt better than sex when we finished those up. I also have moved onto advanced headstands since I have improved my breathing and I'm able to hold the basic pose all day. Soon once I get the scorpion I'll upload a pic.

Everyone in the class, young and old, are all unlocking massive accomplishments that just one week ago they thought was impossible. The progress everyone is making is astounding. One of the neat things is that this class is so diverse (as opposed to a bunch of advanced, fit students). We have some 60 year old women, a 12 and 14 year old brother and sister, big thick ladies with back issues, 2 awkward men who have never done any yoga prior to last week, and others. So as a student, I get to witness our instructors working with every type of body and every type of problem that they have, which will do wonders for me if I decide to teach when this is all over.

This morning, arun had us do 12 straight sun salutations which whipped everyone awake real fast. Off to class now.

Good morning, day 8 pic

1 full week complete

Weekend intensity

Yesterday was our first "off day" and we had the option to stick around the ashram and do the basics, or head out on a trip to some local cities and temples. I chose to go out with about 18 others.

We visited a few temples which were wild. It's definitely different to experience these temples when you have an idea of what's going on. Most of it is still way over my head, but at least I can now explain why people bring money and coconuts and whatever else to offer the deities at these temples.

The second temple we visited was a bit out of the ordinary. Its purpose is that it was some sort of a "guardian temple" for all the other holier temples in the area. Somehow that means (symbolically) that it's filled with thousands of bells, notes from people with their personal wishes, and oh yes live goat sacrificing.

Let me preface the following by saying that Swami G did not know in advance that this temple subscribed to the branch of spirituality which involves physical sacrificing of animals. He explained later that the school of sivananda which we are studying has branched far away from the school of thought that the folks at this temple were following. Had he known about the goats, he wouldn't have taken us there.

However, we did go there, and yea there were goats, and when I saw a dude come out sharpening a scythe, I realized...holy shit this is going down! Initially I thought they were just going to slice the goat right there on a dais in the middle of the temple grounds, and there was a great deal of commotion, so I just waited but nothing happened. Finally I realized they were taking the goats out back through some side door and bringing the bodies out in bags dripping blood.

Finally, my curiosity got the best of me an i mosied out back following an unfortunate goat. There were about 6 dudes there. I kinda posted up 20 feet away while they lined the goat up. One guy held the head forward while another pulled the body back. Third dude just got up next to it with the scythe, said a prayer, and took a hack. Like a hot knife thru butter. Gruesome. Both ends of the goat kept sputtering long after the blade went thru it. One dude took the head with him an carried it towards a hill and just tossed it off into some pit. And that was it. I didn't take a video and kind of happy I didn't. Because I would have share it and people would have got disgusted with me. So therefore I hope this description keeps that disgust level down.

After I relayed the story to the other folks who didn't go out back with me, they were surprised I had the balls to do so. Hey you only live once, right?

We ended the trip swinging through a beautiful hill town called Almora which seriously looks like the Hollywood hills or san Francisco from a distance (see pic). Amazing sweets are made there and I went to town on these chocolatey caramel things. It was not a very healthy day.

We eventually made it back to the ashram where we did our evening satsang and then I hosted an impromptu talent show which went over very well. All the staff including swami said it was the beat executed talent show they had ever seen in any TTC they had ever done before (and just after the first week, nonetheless)...I'm not gonna lie, I was on point with my jokes, but we had some really awesome singing and dancing performances which made my job easy. A really fun ending to a pretty busy wild day.

Just about finished up with Sunday now, which has been the best day so far. I will elaborate later.

Day 7 pic

I ate too much junk yesterday

Field trip!

Week 1 done

We've finally got a little bit of a break tonight so I'm trying to take advantage of it to create a substantial post.

Every day is nonstop from 5AM to 10PM, with just a few breaks to shower and relax. We have daily "homework" assignments as well, so much of our limited free time (10-20 minutes 3 times a day) is spent doing that, not to mention hand washing laundry. Luckily they gave us 2 uniforms that we can rotate.

I've said that our teachers are amazing but I haven't really elaborated. There are a total of 10 staffers. 2 of them are officially swamis, who have been initiated to this highest level because of their dedicated lives to the sivananda practice. The head swami govinanda received his education (gurukula) directly from swami visnudevananda who was the top disciple of swami sivananda who the practice is named after. Swami govinanda is the most senior Indian swami alive today underneath this yoga umbrella. He leads all our meditation and chanting sessions as well as giving us all of the history and education about the yoga theories. He's a very smart funny dude and is incredibly knowledgeable and wise about almost every topic. Sure there are a few stories and things that don't pass my sniff test, but he provides a fair amount scientific research to back some things up.

There's a lot of spirituality being taught. It's a modernized school of Hindi. Interesting stuff, and it's all adapted to accept and integrate all religions of the world today (you will see Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, and Buddha in some of the chants). It's a bit tricky to keep track of all the millions of Hindu gods and goddesses, and their symbolism, etc. It's also a bit farfetched at times, but at the end of the day, it's an interesting methodology of living a good, healthy life so I am able to respect and appreciate it all.

On the physical side, asana practice is led by arun, who has been teaching for around 25 years. He is an amazing instructor with a great sense of humor. He is assisted by 6 other professional teachers with multiple years of experience. As we practice our asana poses, as well as our breathing and relaxation, they are all walking around the room assisting and correcting people. We do our asana practice twice a day and I have already discovered hundreds of things I have been doing incorrectly my whole life and I'm making many improvements. Every student is going through this same transformation. One of our teachers is this huge Lebanese dude with a shaved head (not mike Hanna) who is extremely inspirational to me and has really pointed out many deficiencies in my practice and helped me big time. He's a jokester and the only other Quasi-white guy around.

Throughout these classes, our teachers are also showing us how to actually lead a yoga class...duh that's what were supposed to be here for! It's quite intimidating but the power you have as a teacher is really amazing. Telling people to breathe and move and everything and having them follow your every word is exhilarating but comes with heavy responsibility. We will be advancing in this regard very quickly in the upcoming 3 weeks. Thus far I have been singled out for praise from the true teachers when we have done our brief teaching of other students.

The food has been nothing short of amazing. It's all organic vegetables and different everyday and always delicious without any bad shit in it. Night and day from any diet I've ever had before. Of course it's all u can eat so I can easily get myself in trouble here. While you can use a spoon, most people eat with their hands. I've done it a few times but I prefer using the spoon when the meal is so loose. Currently my duty or "karma yoga" at the ashram is to serve breakfast to everyone. It's pretty enjoyable. We also have 2 tea breaks and the occasional sweet which is again a healthy Indian sweet as opposed to any other candy I've ever eaten. The chefs make all this stuff from scratch in the ashram which is kore or less in the middle of nowhere 2 hours from the closest town Himalayas. It's pretty awesome.

Tomorrow is our "rest day" but I've decided to go on the optional trip to this temple complex 3 hours away. Well also stop in the "local" town of Almora so it will be nice to see a bit kore of this beautiful area. Got to Hit the sack now.

Dinner

Every meal is different, awesome, and healthy as this. I'm going to start taking more pics

Day 6 pic

Day 5 pic

Got a bit sick last night, sore throat and lots of mucus.

Day 4 update

So on day 2 it was discovered that I have been breathing incorrectly all my life. Mine was seriously the complete opposite of the proper breathing technique. As I breathed in, my chest would expand while my stomach contracted, as I try to fill my upper lungs. This doesn't make any sense since the biggest and strongest part of my lungs is in the diaphragm region behind my abs. Therefore the stomach should be expanding during the inhale and contracting during exhale! The class got quite a kick out of this as nobody else had the same problem. Almost a stupid human trick. I have been unlearning my wrong technique and improving proper breathing over the past 2 days and I'm noticing a huge difference.

We are really making a ton of progress in all aspects of the course so far in just 3 days. Many people who couldn't do a headstand for the life of them on Monday are already pulling it off. There's a pretty neat camaraderie being built up between everyone, male-female-young-old.
As I'm the only white guy, I get a lot of jokes and attention directed my way, which is fun.
Today, during our afternoon asana class, I was holding a strong headstand so Arun helped bring me into the scorpion position where I lean my lower legs over my head, separate my hands and put forearms on the ground, then lift my head off the ground so all my body is supported by my 2 arms. I couldn't hold my weight myself, but hopefully by th end of this course I'll be able to pull it off.
This Saturday a few of us will leave the ashram to visit a nearby town, Almora, as well as a very famous Himalayan temple which should be quite interesting now that I have this additional knowledge about the customs here.
Off to total lunar eclipse meditation...I'll reserve a post for that later...definitely the hardest part of the program.

Day 4 pic

I'm so smug!

Looks like I'll have to move to san Francisco after this is over.

Day 3 pic

View from our balcony...will post better later

Day 2 thoughts

It's only been 30 hours since we got started here and holy crap we've done so much.

We've done 3 physical yoga classes (asana practice), a few meditation and chanting classes, and 2 ceremonial things, along with amazing meals.

The entire day is a learning experience and while some things may be a bit farfetched and tough to wrap my head around (ceremonial deities & chanting, etc.), there is a reasonably legit science behind them that is being explained and it's quite interesting.

There's a great camaraderie between all the students. There are 29 total. I am the only white guy. There are actually 4 other guys, all younger than me, a few other white girls, and the rest Indian girls. Like I said before, they are all very outspoken and impressive.

I've got to head out for the final chanting of the night. Not much time to sit and rest at all but I will do my beat to continue to post updates.

Day 2 pic

4:30am wakeup call

Day 1 recap

Yesterday was theoretically our "intro" day but was still super packed.

After training all night then a 3 hour jeep ride, finally arrived at this beautiful himalaya ashram to meet the other 28 folks an 10 staffers who are leading this ttc.

I have to say I am blown away by the quality of every single person here. Slowly meeting everyone throughout the day was very enjoyable, and when we had our initiation in the evening, it was incredible to find out the stories behind everyone's reason for being here.

The day itself was a bit rough because I was so tired from getting about 7 cumulative hours of poor sleep over the previous 3 nights due to various circumstances (Mosquitos, late night drinking, sleeper train).

I just woke up from a very deep sleep, and it's 4:50 am and I still need to shower with a bucket and get down to a ceremony by 5. I have 2 cool roommates...a 27 year old engineer from Delhi named Venki and a 19 year old named Kalki, but they need to hustle it up!

More later...gotta go now.

Day 1

I will be documenting my body's (hopeful) transformation throughout this class. This is the official "before"

Now things get serious

While this blog will of course comment on all my negative (and positive) Indian observations, it will also make a conscious attempt at figuring out what the hell is going on inside my head.

All in all I'm a pretty damn confident guy. An I'd say I've been damn successful at making awesome things happen over the past 3 years since I quit my job with Raytheon. Everytime i look through my facebook albums, I feel pretty good about myself, but that's not sustainable.

As far as the concept of future is concerned, I've been lost for a while. It's just too easy to skate by in china and have a great time and get complacent without even trying. Living in the moment, doing whatever i want, carefree, no responsibility. This is awesome, and I love it. But depleting my IRA is not so awesome.

There are so many major endeavors (entrevors?) happening in the next 3 months that I'm using to reset myself. It starts today with 1 month in a yoga ashram. I've been doing yoga on and off for the past 6 years, but I never thought I'd find myself in a situation like this.

It will be an insanely intense mental challenge. There are 3 hours of chanting and meditation every day which I have never done before. There will be 28 days of seclusion which I have never come close to before. There will be a full vegetarian diet which I have never come close to before. I will go a month without boozing or jerking off, which I have never come close to before.

So point is, I'll very likely be a different person when I come out. I'll do my best to post updates and daily pics throughout the days.

Stay tuned!

Observations so far

- All the food is fantastically amazing. I order a random different dish everytime with no idea of what's in it and it always kicks ass. 
- Delhi autorickshaw drivers can all go die. They are total scum and make Chinese cab drivers look like professional limo drivers. 
- Mumbai is a hectic city.  There's nothing like it. Way overpriced "Posh" places built directly on top or across the street from horribly rough slums. Unlike china, the government can't sweep the crap under the rug.  It's a wanna-be LA meets Shanghai price discrepancy meets favela. 
- Taj Mahal is momentous. Truly a world wonder.  Mr Rajiv at Sai Hotel was an amazing host. Heading to the othe side of the river in agra is straight proper India. SLUMDOG!
- India trains can be the seventh layer of hell, especially when they are 2-3 hours delayed and you are stuck on them or waiting for them in a shithole train station.  Never ride in an overnight sleeper class cabin to save a few bucks. Still, despite the terrible cleanliness and cramped quarters, passengers are more civilized than Chinese peasants. 
- New Delhi is much more beautiful than Mumbai. Relatively well paved roads and actual sidewalks are highlights. 
- There are about an even number of really nice, good, honest helpful people and complete scam artists scheming for you to give them money for total bullshit. I've never felt better in my life about not giving people money and having them whine about it. It's turned into a game of "who can out-fuck each other more" at this point. 
- Chinese babies = split pants...Indian babies = no pants
-Indian men really enjoy holding each others hands everywhere. Apparently this is also true in Iran. Makes Florida Betas look heterosexual! You guys need to step your game up!
- Indian women can be loathsomely slow. Their clothing is horrendously inefficient for any logistical movements
- The "India smells" come and go...but when they come, they come hard
- Couchsurfing has been great, with chan being an awesome host in Mumbai and Isabel a great travel partner in Agra
- Being able to talk cricket earns respect. Being able to play "street-cricket" earns you a crowd of onlookers

I'm currently 6.5 hours into a "6 hour train ride" that was already delayed an hour before we boarded and will still take another hour to reach our destination. Guess this is par for the course. Hopefully in a few hours I will be arriving at a yoga ashram for 28 days of non-insane India. 

I'm worried that my train ride back to Delhi after these 28 days will completely negate the entire experience!!! Must upgrade ticket! Oh shut here come the smells again...must be dead bodies.

Taj headstand!

Spitting

I'm not gonna lie, I am a big spitter. I love to spit. Whether I'm brushing my teeth, taking a shower, going for a run, riding my bike in the cold, playing baseball, or any other situation that requires it, I am all about spitting (and occasionally snot-rocketing)

That being said, I'm a very very VERY courteous spitter/snot-rocketeer.

The same cannot be said for Chinese or Indians. However, I think I prefer Chinese spitting - at least they provide a warning hock.

Yes, everyone who's ever been to china is extremely familiar with the 5 second performance that takes place any time a chinese person (equally male or female) decides it's time to let loose some mucus. It's about a 3-4 second "hocking" process, followed by the projection of spit out of their mouth. It is fully disgusting and they never make any attempt to silence the spit nor do they use any discretion on the spit location. No thoughts of spitting into bushes or gutters, just let loose wherever they are physically facing at that moment in time. More than once, I've been a victim of a side-projection bicycle spit as I flew past they're slowpoke asses.

In India, the spitting is a lot less frequent, but when they spit, they spit to win. These Lugees are freaking HUGE! You could feed a small child for a week with the amount of calories within an Indian spit. And just like the Chinese, the direction of trot spits is with complete oblivion to anything/anyone around them. However, THEY GIVE ZERO ADVANCED WARNING. That's right, no hock! All of a sudden you'll see a rainstorm out of nowhere and before you know it, the Indian dude has disappeared. Truly silent but deadly.

So pick your poison...I for one would go with the warning siren..but at the end of the day, we're all stepping in Asian saliva.

Sent from my iPhone

And It begins

Off to a good start

Ive had this card for 5 years...this is the first time It's gotten me any access to a lounge for free. Legit