21 June 2011
20 June 2011
Bugs
When I was 15-16 years old, whenever I was bored, I used to go out into my backyard in corona with a fly swatter and just go on a massacre. I would easily kill 30-40 flies in 15 minutes until there were no more, and then an hour later go and repeat it. Of course the flies would always come back despite all their dead brethren lying on the ground beneath them.
I really hate insects. I am a huge bug killer. While I fully realize that it's impossible to eradicate all bugs, every bug that I see is a potential mosquito that could bite me or a cockroach that could crawl on my face, and if they are dead, then on some level, I am lessening my chance of being violated and therefore making myself better off.
Which brings me to this ashram. We are in the middle of the Himalayan forest. There's a fair amount of bugs here. I want to kill every one, especially the flies that land all over my face and ears while I'm trying to do a tough pose or relax or meditate. There are also these physically challenged giant cockroach-thingies that apparently can't figure out how to get on their feet because they are always stuck on their backs waving their legs in agony making a futile attempt to right themselves. And I've certainly sent a fair amount of insects to their grave, but as time goes on, I am becoming far more acceptant and sparing the lives of these things. I am short of weapons and throwing books or slamming my hand against my face just isn't a high value proposition when there is an endless supply of bugs coming my way.
Today in class we discussed the idea of supreme consciousness and how all bugs and plants and inanimate objects all posses some level of consciousness. I certainly didn't feel bad about all the bugs that I've murdered over the ears, but I kinda felt good about the ones I've spared.
(I was just interrupted while typing this post to kill an annoying fly in my room that was hovering around the ceiling and wouldn't leave)
Despite this latest extermination,
I've miraculously become relaxed with the flies that land on me during asana class. I have somehow managed to make my mind think that the flies are giving me a massage. I know this is complete bullshit, but I'm out of options and sometimes if you know you are fighting a losing battle, you just need to get creative.
Tomorrow comes video of me transitioning from crow to a new headstand form. Trust me it's sexy.
Hell week has commenced
Well I guess it may be the first of 3 consecutive hell weeks, but yea, we are definitely getting challenged now.
Yesterdays discussion in lecture was one of the most intellectually stimulating experiences I've ever had, essentially using mathematical induction to define who "me" really is. I'll spare you all the details, but needless to say it was quite mind-opening to look at things in that light and use negation to come to a "proof". I'll be exploring this angle more.
Anatomy lessons star soon too so that should be challenging.
In asana class, we got torn apart in a series of advanced shoulderstand poses, while spreading legs apart and it honestly felt better than sex when we finished those up. I also have moved onto advanced headstands since I have improved my breathing and I'm able to hold the basic pose all day. Soon once I get the scorpion I'll upload a pic.
Everyone in the class, young and old, are all unlocking massive accomplishments that just one week ago they thought was impossible. The progress everyone is making is astounding. One of the neat things is that this class is so diverse (as opposed to a bunch of advanced, fit students). We have some 60 year old women, a 12 and 14 year old brother and sister, big thick ladies with back issues, 2 awkward men who have never done any yoga prior to last week, and others. So as a student, I get to witness our instructors working with every type of body and every type of problem that they have, which will do wonders for me if I decide to teach when this is all over.
This morning, arun had us do 12 straight sun salutations which whipped everyone awake real fast. Off to class now.
19 June 2011
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