Day 1

I will be documenting my body's (hopeful) transformation throughout this class. This is the official "before"

Now things get serious

While this blog will of course comment on all my negative (and positive) Indian observations, it will also make a conscious attempt at figuring out what the hell is going on inside my head.

All in all I'm a pretty damn confident guy. An I'd say I've been damn successful at making awesome things happen over the past 3 years since I quit my job with Raytheon. Everytime i look through my facebook albums, I feel pretty good about myself, but that's not sustainable.

As far as the concept of future is concerned, I've been lost for a while. It's just too easy to skate by in china and have a great time and get complacent without even trying. Living in the moment, doing whatever i want, carefree, no responsibility. This is awesome, and I love it. But depleting my IRA is not so awesome.

There are so many major endeavors (entrevors?) happening in the next 3 months that I'm using to reset myself. It starts today with 1 month in a yoga ashram. I've been doing yoga on and off for the past 6 years, but I never thought I'd find myself in a situation like this.

It will be an insanely intense mental challenge. There are 3 hours of chanting and meditation every day which I have never done before. There will be 28 days of seclusion which I have never come close to before. There will be a full vegetarian diet which I have never come close to before. I will go a month without boozing or jerking off, which I have never come close to before.

So point is, I'll very likely be a different person when I come out. I'll do my best to post updates and daily pics throughout the days.

Stay tuned!

Observations so far

- All the food is fantastically amazing. I order a random different dish everytime with no idea of what's in it and it always kicks ass. 
- Delhi autorickshaw drivers can all go die. They are total scum and make Chinese cab drivers look like professional limo drivers. 
- Mumbai is a hectic city.  There's nothing like it. Way overpriced "Posh" places built directly on top or across the street from horribly rough slums. Unlike china, the government can't sweep the crap under the rug.  It's a wanna-be LA meets Shanghai price discrepancy meets favela. 
- Taj Mahal is momentous. Truly a world wonder.  Mr Rajiv at Sai Hotel was an amazing host. Heading to the othe side of the river in agra is straight proper India. SLUMDOG!
- India trains can be the seventh layer of hell, especially when they are 2-3 hours delayed and you are stuck on them or waiting for them in a shithole train station.  Never ride in an overnight sleeper class cabin to save a few bucks. Still, despite the terrible cleanliness and cramped quarters, passengers are more civilized than Chinese peasants. 
- New Delhi is much more beautiful than Mumbai. Relatively well paved roads and actual sidewalks are highlights. 
- There are about an even number of really nice, good, honest helpful people and complete scam artists scheming for you to give them money for total bullshit. I've never felt better in my life about not giving people money and having them whine about it. It's turned into a game of "who can out-fuck each other more" at this point. 
- Chinese babies = split pants...Indian babies = no pants
-Indian men really enjoy holding each others hands everywhere. Apparently this is also true in Iran. Makes Florida Betas look heterosexual! You guys need to step your game up!
- Indian women can be loathsomely slow. Their clothing is horrendously inefficient for any logistical movements
- The "India smells" come and go...but when they come, they come hard
- Couchsurfing has been great, with chan being an awesome host in Mumbai and Isabel a great travel partner in Agra
- Being able to talk cricket earns respect. Being able to play "street-cricket" earns you a crowd of onlookers

I'm currently 6.5 hours into a "6 hour train ride" that was already delayed an hour before we boarded and will still take another hour to reach our destination. Guess this is par for the course. Hopefully in a few hours I will be arriving at a yoga ashram for 28 days of non-insane India. 

I'm worried that my train ride back to Delhi after these 28 days will completely negate the entire experience!!! Must upgrade ticket! Oh shut here come the smells again...must be dead bodies.

Taj headstand!

Spitting

I'm not gonna lie, I am a big spitter. I love to spit. Whether I'm brushing my teeth, taking a shower, going for a run, riding my bike in the cold, playing baseball, or any other situation that requires it, I am all about spitting (and occasionally snot-rocketing)

That being said, I'm a very very VERY courteous spitter/snot-rocketeer.

The same cannot be said for Chinese or Indians. However, I think I prefer Chinese spitting - at least they provide a warning hock.

Yes, everyone who's ever been to china is extremely familiar with the 5 second performance that takes place any time a chinese person (equally male or female) decides it's time to let loose some mucus. It's about a 3-4 second "hocking" process, followed by the projection of spit out of their mouth. It is fully disgusting and they never make any attempt to silence the spit nor do they use any discretion on the spit location. No thoughts of spitting into bushes or gutters, just let loose wherever they are physically facing at that moment in time. More than once, I've been a victim of a side-projection bicycle spit as I flew past they're slowpoke asses.

In India, the spitting is a lot less frequent, but when they spit, they spit to win. These Lugees are freaking HUGE! You could feed a small child for a week with the amount of calories within an Indian spit. And just like the Chinese, the direction of trot spits is with complete oblivion to anything/anyone around them. However, THEY GIVE ZERO ADVANCED WARNING. That's right, no hock! All of a sudden you'll see a rainstorm out of nowhere and before you know it, the Indian dude has disappeared. Truly silent but deadly.

So pick your poison...I for one would go with the warning siren..but at the end of the day, we're all stepping in Asian saliva.

Sent from my iPhone

And It begins

Off to a good start

Ive had this card for 5 years...this is the first time It's gotten me any access to a lounge for free. Legit